Are you passing through a tumultuous storm in your life? These mysterious seasons seem to overwhelm us at times, and we are tempted to despair. We go to God our Creator, Christ our Redeemer, the Holy Ghost our life in grace, and pour out our hearts. We humble ourselves, confess our sins and faults, and beg for mercy. We place our trust in God and not man, reaching up to Him with childlike dependence. And yet the fierce waves relentlessly batter our little vessels, the capricious winds menace us, the cold darkness envelops us and we ask, "why, Lord? Don't you care?" Instead of consolation, we hear only silence and the echoes of our deepest doubts.
It is these times that we sit alone in the company of our fears with only naked, raw faith. Yet that faltering faith, unabetted by any consolation at all is a great praise and worship of the Triune God, who is nearer to us than our own breath though we feel completely alone and abandoned. Our Blessed Lord Himself prayed that the hour of His passion might pass from Him. It was after He surrendered to the Divine will, accepting His Cross that the Father sent angels to minister to Him.
I find that act of surrender more difficult than death. It is utterly unnatural for me to yield to what I KNOW will bring me misery. Perhaps that is why the angelic consort is so infrequently sent to me. God be merciful to me, a sinner.
Originally posted 18 February 2016
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