Prayer in severe trial

O Lord, hide me in Thy precious wounds; I am unable to bear the battering winds of the calamity come upon me. My confidence is devastated; my strength collapsed. Unless You deliver me, I am without hope. 

Look not upon my sins which destroy all hope of Thy mercies; my transgressions are piled up to heaven. Break through the hardness of my heart, the stubbornness of my pride, the dullness of my carnal mind. 

In the day of my distress I called upon Thee alone; I did not resort to man nor his counsels, but to my God, my Creator, my Redeemer, my only hope.

Surely Thou art a God of compassion and fatherly goodness; Thou takest no delight in the despair and futility of Thy creatures which Thou hast conceived in love.

Make me to know that no matter how engulfed I am in darkness and misery, I have a Father in heaven Who loves me and will save me, even from myself.

Originally posted 29 June 2020

Abandonment and the Faithfulness of God

The soul that feels abandoned may seek for consolation, acceptance, and security from other souls that apart from good intention, may never be able to fill the awful void left by the experiences of abandonment. 

The Saints and mystics bid us to abandon ourselves to the divine will, trusting in the goodness and providence of our Creator and Redeemer. Yet for those with the awful experiences of abandonment, this type of trust can be elusive and even frightening. 

True security is not the mere *feeling* of security, which even for the most fortunate of us is fleeting. True security comes from the decision to believe that God will never abandon us. For wounded souls, this decision may have to be made a thousand times a day, each time as an act of faith in the goodness of God. 

Our Blessed Lord knows the desolation of abandonment as He cried out pitifully on the cross, Eli, Eli, lama sabacthani (my God, my God, why hast Thou abandoned me?). But this abandonment was for us, for our benefit, for our salvation, for our desperate need for ultimate security. The divine Son experienced abandonment so that He could perfectly understand it with a human mind, a human heart, and a human soul. And He understands our abandonment, our fear of rejection, our great need for trusting faith in the all-good God Who created us and sent His only Son to save us.

Baby steps are acceptable in the journey of trust. God can restore our willingness and ability to trust in Him, regardless of our personal experiences of being abandoned by men.

To Thee O Lord, I lift up my soul. 
In Thee O my God, I put my trust.
Let me not be ashamed.
Psalm 24:1

Originally posted 4 September 2015